As a parent, it is important to be aware of the common developmentally appropriate sexual behaviors among children. This will help you to understand physical and emotional development and to be a role model and resource for your child. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), recommends that a parent teach their child the proper names for all body parts, including names such as genitals, penis, vagina, breasts, buttocks, anus, etc., and recognize that these are their private body parts. It is common for sexual behaviors among children to begin at an early age. These are normal developmental sexual behaviors among children that can include noticing another person's genitals or breasts, self-exploration, standing too close to someone to notice differences, or self-stimulation (masturbation). As the child grows, these behaviors change according to the child's developmental age. These behaviors are often managed by awareness, education, reassurance, and redirection by the parent. In addition to these common and normal sexual behaviors, a parent must be aware of the uncommon, inappropriate sexual behavior problems, and know how to respond, and not react. Uncommon, inappropriate sexual behaviors can be acting out behavior or sexually abusive behavior that can be the result of child abuse and neglect.
The following is a review of the common and uncommon sexual behaviors in children by age. It also includes information regarding puberty and reproduction systems for both females and males. As your child grows, every day is an opportunity for them to learn. They learn from their physical and social environment. As a parent, communication with your child begins at the first moment you hold or touch them on the day they are born. Listen to your child. Validate them. When you talk with them, make and keep eye contact. Be honest. Be sensitive. Praise them and let them know that you love them, and you are there for them. The purpose of this guide is to help you understand the common and uncommon child sexual behaviors by age. It is not meant to give medical or mental health advice. Anytime you have concerns or questions, talk with your child's doctor.
The following is a review of the common and uncommon sexual behaviors in children by age. It also includes information regarding puberty and reproduction systems for both females and males. As your child grows, every day is an opportunity for them to learn. They learn from their physical and social environment. As a parent, communication with your child begins at the first moment you hold or touch them on the day they are born. Listen to your child. Validate them. When you talk with them, make and keep eye contact. Be honest. Be sensitive. Praise them and let them know that you love them, and you are there for them. The purpose of this guide is to help you understand the common and uncommon child sexual behaviors by age. It is not meant to give medical or mental health advice. Anytime you have concerns or questions, talk with your child's doctor.
Preschool (Age 5 and younger)
Common *
*How to Respond if you Encounter “Common” Sexual Behavior in Children |
Uncommon **
**How to Respond to "Uncommon" Sexual Behavior in Children |
School-Age (6-8 years)
Girls-Puberty begins between 8-15 years (see Puberty in Girls, What to Expect, & Female Reproductive System)
Common*
*How to Respond if you Encounter “Common” Sexual Behavior in Children |
Uncommon**
**How to Respond to "Uncommon" Sexual Behavior in Children |
School-Age (9-12 years)
Girls-Puberty begins between 8-15 years (see Puberty in Girls, What to Expect, & Female Reproductive System)
Boys-Puberty begins between 9-16 years (see Puberty in Boys, What to Expect, & Male Reproductive System)
Boys-Puberty begins between 9-16 years (see Puberty in Boys, What to Expect, & Male Reproductive System)
Common*
*How to Respond if you Encounter “Common” Sexual Behavior in Children |
Uncommon **
**How to Respond to "Uncommon" Sexual Behavior in Children |
Adolescence (13-16 years)
Girls-Puberty begins between 8-15 years (see Puberty in Girls, What to Expect, & Female Reproductive System)
Boys-Puberty begins between 9-16 years (see Puberty in Boys, What to Expect, & Male Reproductive System)
Boys-Puberty begins between 9-16 years (see Puberty in Boys, What to Expect, & Male Reproductive System)
Common*
*How to Respond if you Encounter “Common” Sexual Behavior in Children |
Uncommon **
Sexual interest in much younger children
**How to Respond to "Uncommon" Sexual Behavior in Children |
For questions, talk with your pediatrician or contact Stop It Now at 1-888-773-8368